Balancing act.

How do you balance social etiquette, socializing and diet restrictions. With some things, like food intolerances, it is very straight forward: eat this, feel like crap. But keeping track of every item I eat (which I do) and being able to plan ahead for every social occasion is frustrating. I find myself being very reasonable in each setting, except that the frequency of each dalliance is the problem. How do you limit the social interactions? How do you build the bridges to have people want to support you instead of get frustrated by your constant refusals? I've cut way back on my calorie intake. I've tracked what a "normal" day was like before I started hitting the gym hardcore and using MyFitnessPal and I feel like I should be seeing an improvement faster than I am. I know that it is normal to make a sort of exchange of fat and muscle as you begin "losing weight" but I don't see it in my clothes. This is super frustrating. So, I look at the possible areas where I am still slipping up and thus, the paragraph above. What do you do? Who could I partner with to better understand the effect of my intake and output? Ultimately, I know that I am getting fitter. My skin texture is better. I feel my muscle tone improving. My energy is better. But I want it all. I want to be a better shape for my height. I want to have a healthy height/weight ratio. I want to wear smaller pants and feel even better nekkid. What to do!??!?!